By Nettie Owens, CPO-CD · The Sappari Group

Originally explored on Wake Up Women Leaders — Episode 28

You introduce yourself at a networking event, and instead of naming exactly who you serve, you list everything you could possibly do for anyone who might be listening. Nobody in the room walks away knowing who to send your way.

In Episode 28 of Wake Up Women Leaders, Victoria Whitfield and I dug into why so many women leaders resist getting specific about their target market, and why the fix isn’t really a marketing problem at all.

This episode follows Episode 27, where we talked about budgeting your energy. This week we look at where a lot of that energy actually leaks out: staying vague about who you serve so nobody feels left out.

Why Getting Specific About Your Target Market Feels So Uncomfortable

“Too many times Nettie and I have gone out networking and witnessed women leaders introduce themselves, and it’s as if you’re afraid to leave somebody out,” Victoria said.

I’ve lived this myself. “It was easy early on to have a really specific market,” I said about my professional organizing days. “But when I shifted into executive coaching, and leading events and things like that, I really allowed my market to become scattershot. It was as if I was saying, I’m a gynecologist, but I could also be your podiatrist.”

The instinct not to exclude anyone feels generous. It isn’t. “You just can’t spread yourself in so many different areas and be effective for the people you’re trying to help,” I said. Getting specific about your target market isn’t about narrowing your ambition, it’s about actually being useful to the people you’re best equipped to help.

This Isn’t a Marketing Problem, It’s an Identity Problem

Victoria said what’s really underneath the resistance to getting specific about your target market. “I feel very clear that this is a women’s psychological and socialization issue,” she said. “It’s especially the inner child in a woman, the scared little girl on the playground who’s like, I don’t wanna be mean, I don’t wanna hurt anybody, I don’t wanna leave anybody out.”

She connected it to identity directly. “The more that we reinforce that identity that we’ve been socialized into of, be inclusive, be the nice girl, don’t be the mean girl, that whole program running in the background of our minds is really for women in particular, wanting to be pleasing, wanting to not be mean or to upset anybody.”

I picked up the thread on why this matters beyond marketing. “When did being clear and direct become a problem? I would venture to say it’s probably been a long time that being clear and direct has been a problem for women specifically. And yet it’s also the solution.”

Find the Problem You Solve, Not the List of Things You Can Do

Victoria described her own struggle getting specific about her target market before she found clarity. “I could do meditation, I could do Reiki, I could do retreats, I could do life coaching, I could read your tarot. I used to think the how to introduce yourself is just run through your entire resume.”

What actually worked was a different question entirely. “What’s the problem we’re solving here? And I’m like, I don’t know. And that’s essentially true. My clients know.” She surveyed the people she served and kept hearing the same thing back. “Whenever I’m around you, whenever I’m in your presence, just clears my energy.”

The exercise translates directly: getting specific about your target market starts with asking the people you already serve what problem they actually came to you with, not listing your own skills.

The Straight Road Metaphor

Victoria offered an image for what getting specific about your target market actually saves you. “If you’ve ever been driving in your car and you’re on a very curvy road, you have to slow down and increase the gas and slow down and increase the gas. Where if you’ve ever been in a straight shot, you could go pedal to the metal because it’s just a straight shot. You will conserve so much more gas as you’re able to just focus on going in one direction.”

I connected this to my own experience living in Pittsburgh. “Google Maps will tell you that’s three miles away, and I kid you not, unless you hit start directions, you will not know that that is twenty miles away and it’s going to take you an hour to get there. But by as the crow flies, it is three miles. You want the straight path that conserves energy.”

Speak to the One Person

Both of us landed on the same practical exercise for getting specific about your target market: picture one real person, not a demographic.

“A great question to ask is, who is the one person that I could help today?” I said. “Not speaking in generalities, but really come bringing to your mind someone in your circle that you know that has a name and that you could describe really clearly.”

Victoria connected this to how people actually listen. “People don’t listen as a group. And everyone is tuned into WIIFM, what is in this for me? The more that I speak directly to the one person, the more magnetic I become to that one person. On their end, they’re like, oh my God, I feel like you’re talking to me, because I am.”

Excluding Someone Doesn’t Mean Abandoning Them

Both of us pushed back on the fear that getting specific about your target market means turning people away with nowhere to go.

“If you ever get afraid of excluding someone, because it’s in us, it’s in us as women, it’s unavoidable, I would encourage you to increase your Rolodex of referrals,” Victoria said. When people came to her wanting energy work for their kids, work outside her specialty, she built out a list of referral sources instead of stretching herself thin. “You don’t have to be everything to everyone. It’s okay to share the abundance and to own your lane, to own your specialty.”

I added the piece that ties it back to identity. “Just because we can’t or do not desire to work with somebody, it doesn’t mean there isn’t a great referral. You can remain in alignment with your identity of being helpful even if you aren’t the one to deliver on the service or product that they need.”

Three Things to Do This Week

Write down the name of one real person, not a demographic description, who represents exactly who you want to serve. Describe what they’re struggling with in their words, not yours.

Ask three current clients or team members what problem they’d say you actually solve for them. Compare it to how you currently describe your work.

Build a short list of two or three trusted referrals for the type of request you get often but that falls outside your specialty. Have it ready before the next time someone asks.

What’s Coming Next

Next week’s episode builds directly on this one: turning that focus and specificity into a 90-day plan you’ll actually follow and get results from. Join us Wednesday at 3:30pm ET on LinkedIn Live and YouTube.

If you want help narrowing down your ideal client or owning your one thing with confidence, comment CONNECT below and we’ll follow up with a three-way message on LinkedIn.

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